Authorised FSP No: 52167

Mon – Thur 08h30-16h30 | Fri 08h30- 14h00


A survival guide to the unwritten rules of mountain biking.

Welcome to the uproarious realm of mountain biking, where the trails are rugged, the air is filled with adventure, and the unwritten rules are as wild as a downhill descent! Whether you’re a newbie gearing up for your first trail or a seasoned pro looking for a chuckle, this survival guide will navigate you through the uncharted territories of mountain biking, one laugh at a time.

Rule #1: Mud is a Badge of Honor

If you’re not wearing mud splatters, did you even mountain bike? Embrace the brownish splatter art on your legs and backside — it’s the undeniable mark of a true mountain biker. Just be sure to leave some on your face for that authentic “I conquered the trail” look.

Rule #2: The ‘Ninja Duiker’ Dilemma

Mountain bikers possess a unique talent — the ability to transform a mere rustle in the bushes into a monstrous rhino or a ninja duiker about to attack. It’s perfectly acceptable to announce your wild animal sightings at the top of your lungs. It adds an extra thrill to the ride and keeps your fellow riders on their toes!

Rule #3: The ‘Ungraceful Dismount’ Technique

Picture this: You’re navigating a tricky descent, showing off your best moves, when suddenly a tiny pebble throws off your groove, and you execute a flawless ungraceful dismount. Don’t worry; it happens to the best of us. Just pick yourself up, dust off your pride, and ride on!

Rule #4: The ‘Magic Energy Gel’ Myth

Every mountain biker has heard the legend of the magic energy gel that guarantees an endless supply of energy and stamina. However, the real magic lies in your willpower and those homemade trail mixes hidden in your backpack. Sorry, energy gel — trail mix wins!

Rule #5: The ‘Flat Tire’ Party

A flat tire isn’t a misfortune; it’s an invitation to a spontaneous trailside picnic! Embrace the communal spirit of mountain biking by offering your tube, sharing laughs, and swapping stories. Who knew a flat tire could lead to new biking buddies and a tire-changing party?

Rule #6: The ‘Trailside Poetry’ Tradition

In the midst of a breathtaking landscape, mountain bikers can’t help but channel their inner poets. Trailside poetry sessions, where riders express their awe and wonder in verses, are as vital as the ride itself. Bonus points if your poem rhymes with “singletrack.”

Rule #7: The ‘Secret Handshake’

As a mountain biker, you’re part of an exclusive club. Master the secret handshake — a complex combination of high-fives, fist bumps, and elbow taps — to instantly bond with fellow riders. Warning: It’s top-secret, so practice in the privacy of your garage.

As you venture into the thrilling world of mountain biking, remember that like conquering the trails, managing your finances and insurance can also be an adventure. At Renewed Group, we understand the importance of navigating the unknown and overcoming challenges. Our commitment to providing tailored financial solutions is akin to choosing the right path on a trail—ensuring a smooth and exciting journey. Just as the ‘Unwritten Rules of Mountain Biking’ bring laughter and camaraderie to your rides, Renewed Group brings expertise and a personal touch to your financial journey, making sure you enjoy the ride hassle-free. Here’s to conquering trails, both on the mountains and in your financial endeavours!